Thirty Things Thirty Years in Marriage Has Taught Me (Paperback) | Released: 17 Sep 2018

WHY THIS BOOK? First, listen to my real life story. I got married exactly twenty-six years ago. I guess therefore that I should be talking of what marriage taught me in twenty-five years. But I have good reason for claiming thirty five years. I proposed thirty years ago and got accepted same year. I went to marry her but just before she could hand me the cup of drink as we do in our culture, signifying marriage, her elder sister died. Everything was suspended for the burial and mourning. By the time the mourning was over, it was a new year. I gave a little space and came back again. This time, the mother came out of the kitchen on the last day and in public and announced that she had not finished praying. The ceremony should stop. Bear in mind that the ceremony had gone the whole hug. It was just remaining for her, again, to hand me the traditional cup of acceptance. Amid tears and threats from the mother, my wife hesitated and my father who represented me at the ceremony called the marriage off. Determined, I returned the next year. This time, my mother-in-law stamped the deal. Everyone expected a smooth sail all the way to the altar but as the saying goes: if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. We planned a breath-taking bank-braking wedding ceremony. We invited the high and mighty in the society for I was a relatively well-known and connected local newspaper editor. People and companies, especially customers of the paper, competed in out-doing one another regarding sponsoring the event. Then tragedy struck. My biological mother kicked the bucket a week to my proposed wedding! Naturally, the wedding was called off. The mourning set off almost immediately. The uniform that my siblings had sown for the post-wedding thanksgiving outing to the church was what they wore to the post-burial church thanksgiving on the supposed day of my wedding. These series of events made many a relative to go consulting both Christian and non-Christian sources with questions like, should our son go on with this marriage or not? For their efforts, they reaped an over-flowing basket of confusion. The counsels were as varied as there were counselors! But I was resolute, returning the next year to complete the arrangement for the church wedding. Due to the many negative things said about the marriage and its possibility, I paid attention to the marriage and my diary was always handy. It is from this over-worked note-book that I culled out thirty most memorable and important things that threatened my marriage and which my journalistic visit to divorce courts, and observation of the marriages of my grandfather and father, both of whom I met, have shown to be chief culprits in wrecking marriages if not identified and handled with champions' gloves. I encourage you to patiently study the thirty points here. In compiling and publishing them, I have no doubt that the only way you will not find anything useful in this book is by not reading further.