Gabbert C Marquard

Gabbert is an exceptional poet who enjoys pushing the boundaries of his craft. One time, he finished an entire six-pound ham sandwich at a bar, just to win a five-dollar bet and then he wrote a poem about it. After entering that poem surreptitiousy in a competition under a nom de plume, he then lost the poem and forgot what fake name he was using, so he never got to claim credit for the poem. He was so drunk he may have lost that poem, but he wrote many, many other poems just to prove it wasn't a fluke. He may not appear as if he could eat a six-pound ham sandwich in one sitting, but he totally did.