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ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship

ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship

          
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About the Book

This pioneering book explores the impact of ADHD on a couple’s sex life and relationship. It explains how a better sex life will benefit your relationship (and vice versa) and why that’s especially important for couples with one partner with ADHD. Grounded in innovative research, ADHD After Dark draws on data from a survey of over 3000 adults in a couple where one partner has ADHD. Written from the author’s unique perspective as both an expert in ADHD and a certified sex therapist, the book describes the many effects of ADHD on couples’ sex lives and happiness, covering areas such as negotiating sexual differences, performance problems, low desire, porn, making time for sex, infidelity, and more. The book outlines key principles for a great sex life for couples with ADHD and offers strategies and treatment interventions where specific issues arise. Written in a readable and entertaining style, ADHD After Dark offers clear information on sexuality and relationships and is full of valuable advice on how to improve both. This guide will be an essential read for adults with ADHD, as well as their partners or spouses, and therapists who work with ADHD clients and couples.

Table of Contents:
Acknowledgments Introduction: Good Sex is Extra Important for Couples With ADHD Sex is Important The Double-Edged Sword of Sex How to Read This Book Some Disclaimers SECTION I The Lay of the Land: Research Results Introduction: Better Sex Through Statistics: The ADHD Relationship Sex Survey The ADHD Relationship Sex Survey Take the Survey Yourself Nice Numbers! I Only Care if it’s Useful Some Minor and Major Number Crunching Remember, Everybody’s Got Something It’s All Good Cut to the Chase: Give Me the Important Lessons! 1 In Their Own Words Non-ADHD Women ADHD Women Non-ADHD Men ADHD Men In Conclusion 2 How ADHD Impacts Sex and Relationships Surprising Findings From Bad to Worse? Early is Easy Early is Easy in Bed, Too Sexual Frequency Masturbation to Make Up the Difference? Sexual Barriers and Masturbation Frequency Porn Use Frequency Partner’s Porn Use Frequency Sexual Barriers and Porn Use Porn Use Feelings Huh? Distracted Sex Sexual Effort is Imbalanced, Too Sexual Variety Kinkiness Physical and Emotional Infidelity Consensual Nonmonogamy Barriers to a More Satisfying Sex Life The Sexual Eagerness Cluster The Big Three: Sexual Frequency, Sexual Satisfaction, and Relationship Satisfaction Bridge the Divide Take Away Lessons 3 Make the Most of Treatment How Hard Are You Working At it? I’m Working Harder Than You Are Treatment Effort Matters More Than You Think Maximizing Treatment Effectiveness Take Away Lessons Role Models: What Can We Learn From the Happiest Couples? Beware of Negative Momentum The Big Drivers of Satisfaction Follow the Leaders Take Away Lessons SECTION II Principles of Great Sex Lives 93 Introduction: Your Sex Life is Worth Working On 5 Sex Makes You a Better Person Peace Sometimes Requires War The Double-Edged Sword of Desire Self-Esteem, Self-Acceptance, and Other-Acceptance Between the Hammer and the Anvil Take Away Lessons 6 Respectful Communication and Productive Negotiation Be Accepting From Thought to Action The Importance of Being Good at Rejection Take Away Lessons 7 It’s All Foreplay It All Spills Forward The Sex Funnel Quality, Not Just Quantity Take Away Lessons 8 Make it a Priority Make and Protect Good Feelings for Sex Make and Protect Time for Sex Make and Protect Energy for Sex Make It Happen Take Away Lessons 9 Sex 101 (and 201, and 301 . . .) Healthy Body, Horny Mind Exciters and Inhibitors: The Sexual Gas and Brake The Importance of Foreplay Enjoy the Process Most Women Don’t Orgasm Just From Intercourse Share Your Toys Fantasy vs Action Sex into the Older Years Everything is Better With Lube Specific and/or Narrow Sexual Interests Whips and Chains and Floggers, Oh My Take Away Lessons 10 Taking Some Personal Time: Masturbation The Ethics of Masturbation Men Masturbate to Make Up the Difference (But Women Don’t as Much) Are Sex and Masturbation the Same? Is Masturbation Cheating or Criticism? Masturbation as Path of Least Resistance Masturbate Together Take Away Lessons 11 What About Porn? Porn Within Your Relationship The Benefits of Porn Some Things to Keep in Mind If Porn is a Personal Problem If Porn is a Relationship Problem Porn May Be Problematic, But it isn’t Addictive Take Away Lessons SECTION III Overcome Specific Issues 239 Introduction: The Double-Edged Sword of Sex 12 When the Negotiations Break Down Disagreements About Our Shared Sexual Repertoire Disagreements About How Often We Do it Difficult Sexual Negotiations Seriously Irreconcilable Differences Take Away Lessons 13 Problems With Performance and Pleasure It’s All Connected Genito-Pelvic Pain/Penetration Disorder Erectile Disorder: Not the End of the World Premature Ejaculation: Learn to Slow it Down Delayed Ejaculation: Almost, Almost, Almost . . . Problems With Specific Desires Take Away Lessons 14 Problems With Desire: Not Enough Sex Desire Downers: Many Potential Sexual Drains What Does History Teach Us? What Are Your Goals? Start Slow What About Asexuality? When Desire is Lacking—And Also the Desire to Desire If You Want to Want it Where Do Solo Activities Fit? Take Away Lessons 15 Secret Stuff With Other People: Hookups and Affairs Fidelity Agreements: What is and isn’t Acceptable? Preventing Infidelity Surviving Infidelity Take Away Lessons 16 Consensual Sex With Other People: Other Arrangements Covering the Range The Fantasy Versus the Reality Not the Solution for Relationship Problems Maybe the Solution for a Specific Problem Communication—And Lots of it Take Away Lessons 17 Lessons for Dating: Begin With the End in Mind Lessons From Your Past Lessons From the Survey What Are You Looking For? Dating Apps for the Impatient and Impulsive To Tell or Not to Tell? Survive and Thrive Take Away Lessons 18 Final Thoughts Appendix A: The ADHD Relationship Sex Survey Appendix B: Provider Directories Appendix C: Recommended Reading Literature Cited Index


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Product Details
  • ISBN-13: 9780367223922
  • Publisher: Taylor & Francis Ltd
  • Publisher Imprint: Routledge
  • Height: 210 mm
  • No of Pages: 388
  • Spine Width: 25 mm
  • Weight: 616 gr
  • ISBN-10: 0367223929
  • Publisher Date: 18 Jul 2019
  • Binding: Hardback
  • Language: English
  • Returnable: Y
  • Sub Title: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship
  • Width: 148 mm


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