Re-civilize Life Online!   PROVEN Conflict Management and Prevention for Social Media and the Web   Ever seem like the Web is just one big screaming match? Ever feel like you’re refereeing a worldwide tantrum on YOUR social media sites, blogs, and online forums? That’s not good for your goals—or your sanity. Stop. Now. Step back. Take a breath. And solve the problem. Thought you couldn’t? You can: there are proven best practices for getting people to be civil online. Even when they disagree. Even if they’re complaining. You can avoid misunderstandings that lead to flame wars, and promote constructive conversation amongst those with strongly held views. And, finally, you can handle the people that just can’t be civilized. Today, these skills are flat-out imperative. Everyone who leads, curates, manages, or participates in online communities needs them. Andrea Weckerle hasn’t just compiled them: she’s created a 30-Day Action Plan for restoring civility to your corner of the digital world. This plan works—and not one moment too soon. Master the foundational skills you need to resolve and prevent conflict online Understand the dynamics of each online conflict, from procedural disputes to online lynch mobs Stay cool and effectively manage conflict in even the highest-pressure online environments Differentiate between what people say and what they really want Create a positive online footprint—or start cleaning up a negative image Recognize online troublemakers and strategize ways to handle them Manage your own anger—and, when necessary, express it online safely and productively Strategically manage others’ online hostility and frustration Limit risks to your organization’s online reputation due to actions it can’t control Draft and implement corporate social media policies that actually work  

Table of Contents:
Foreword by Jimmy Wales, founder of Wikipedia    xi 1  Who Gives a Darn About Conflict?    1 If It Happened to Them, It Can Happen to You    1 How This Book Will Help You    3 It All Began on August 6, 1991    3 Every Single Day People and Businesses Take a Hit on the Internet    4 The Negative Effects of Unresolved Conflict    6 Unique Aspects of Online Communications    6 Anonymity and Pseudonymity    7 The Legal System’s Weaknesses    8 When It’s Online, It’s Permanent    8 Three Scenarios Revisited    8 What Is Conflict and How Can Conflict Management and Resolution Help?    10 Foundational Concepts in Conflict Management and Resolution    11 Positions    11 Needs    11 Values    12 Different Types of Conflict Management and Resolution    13 Negotiation    14 Facilitation    14 Mediation    15 Arbitration    15 Civil Litigation    16 Three Foundational Skills Necessary in Conflict Management and Resolution    17 What This Book Covers    19 Endnotes    20 2  Why Your Online Reputation and Privacy Matter    25 More and More, Everything You Do Is Public and Subject to Public Scrutiny    25 Sharing and Oversharing    26 Your Digital Footprint Matters, Whether You Want It to or Not    28 How Online Information About You Affects Your Reputation and Life    29 Online Information About You Affects Your Education, Too    30 Online Information About You Impacts Your Career Success    31 Online Information Affects More Than You Think    32 Reputational Hits from the Outside    33 Reputational Hits from the Inside    33 Measuring Your Existing Digital Footprint    35 Consumer Review and Complaint Sites    36 Local and Hyperlocal Sites    37 Sentiment Analysis    38 Creating a Strong Online Reputation    40 The Importance of Trust and Goodwill    42 If You Make a Mistake, Own It    46 Monitoring Your Online Reputation    47 Using Monitoring Tools    48 Endnotes    50 3  The Different Types of Conflicts You’ll Encounter Online    57 Whether You’re a Global Giant or a Private Individual, You Can’t Escape Online Conflict    57 How Many Different Types of Online Conflicts Are There?    59 One-on-One Conflict    59 One-on-One Conflict Between Individuals with a Prior Relationship    60 One-on-One Conflict Between Individuals Who Are Known to Each Other    61 One-on-One Conflict Between Individuals with Only a Superficial Prior Relationship    63 Conflicts Between Several People or Groups    63 Conflicts Between Several People or Groups Who Share a Common Identity    64 Conflicts Between Several People or Groups Who Don’t Share a Common Identity    64 Conflicts Between an Individual and Several Community Members    65 Conflicts Between Community Members and Site Representatives    65 Conflict with People Who Are Pseudonymous or Anonymous    66 Online Lynch Mobs    67 Private Versus Public Disputes    69 Conflict Issue Categories    70 Content-Based Conflicts    70 Personality-Based Conflicts    72 Power-Based Conflicts    73 Identity-Based Conflicts    75 Why These Online Conflicts Matter    76 Endnotes    77 4  Who Are the Troublemakers?    85 A Pathetic Loser and Coward    85 Troublemakers Come in All Sorts of Shapes and Sizes    86 Anatomy of a Troll    86 How to Deal with Trolls    90 Dealing with Sockpuppets    90 How to Identify a Sockpuppet    93 Dealing with Difficult People    94 Dealing with Online Defamers    100 Cyberbullies, Cyberharassers, and Cyberstalkers    102 What to Do If You Are Being Harassed or Stalked    103 Online and Offline Can Overlap    104 Endnotes    104 5  What’s Your Conflict Style?    111 It’s Other People Who Are Making Me Crazy, So Why Are We Talking About Me?    111 There Is No Single Right or Wrong Conflict Style    112 Adult Personal Conflict Styles    113 Competing: The Warrior    114 Coercing: The Bulldozer    115 Circumventing: The Dodger    117 Compliant: The Pacifier    117 Compromising: The Negotiator    119 Covert: The Operative    120 Collaborative: The Resolver    121 Online Conflict Style Quiz: Which One Are You?    122 Scoring Key    126 Endnotes    126 6  The 101 of Anger Management    129 Anger Is a Primal Emotion    129 An Important Note About This Chapter    131 What Happens to You When You Become Angry?    132 Are There Differences in Who Becomes Angry and How They Express It?    132 Why People Become Angry    135 Don’t Confuse Anger with Other, Similar Emotions    139 Negative Anger Affects People at Work and at Home    141 The Downside of Expressing Anger Online    144 Venting and Self-Control    146 Anger Management Techniques    148 Endnotes    153 7  Digital Literacy in a Hyperconnected World    163 Brett Cohen the Celebrity    163 The News Media Takes Accuracy Seriously    And Still Sometimes Gets It Wrong    164 Digital Literacy and Why It’s Important    166 Truthiness Is the Word    166 Critical Thinking Is a Core Component of Digital Literacy    168 Check Your Biases and Beliefs    169 Examining Credibility and Quality    173 Don’t be Seduced By Gossip and Rumors    179 Accuracy and Verifiability of Information    182 Is a Desire for the Truth Strong Enough to Overcome Bias and Faulty Thinking?    184 Endnotes    185 8  Into the Trenches: Conflict Resolution Skills and Strategies    195 Could This Dispute Have Been Managed Better and Possibly Even Avoided?    195 Your Conflict Goals and Corresponding Approaches    197 Your Organization’s Culture and Conflict Practices    199 Determining If, When, and How to Respond    201 A Word About the Role of Compassion    204 Dispute Management Process    206 Gather information    206 Identify the Disputants    208 Define the Problem from Your Perspective    210 Determine What the Other Side Says the Problem Is About    211 When the Parties Have Different Views About What the Dispute Is About    212 What Does the Other Side Say It Wants?    213 Who Are the Decision Makers?    214 Agreeing on Process and Ground Rules    215 Know Your BATNA and WATNA    216 Creating Possible Solutions    218 Agree on and Implement the Solution    218 Review Your Progress    219 Interpersonal Skills for Successful Dispute Management    220 Focus on the Problem and Not the Person    220 Don’t Make Personal Attacks or Ad Hominem Fallacies    220 Form of Expression Matters    221 Active Listening    223 Responses When Someone Bashes You Online    224 Examples of Effective Online Problem Solving    227 A Special Note About Consumer Review Sites    231 Single Versus Repeat Occurrence Disputes    232 Can You Manage the Dispute on Your Own or Do You Need Outside Help?    233 Crisis Management Approach    235 Endnotes    237 9  Legal Aspects of Online Disputes and Conflicts    241 Is Questionable Behavior Illegal? It Depends on the Facts and Circumstances    241 The Imperfect Nature of Legal Rights and Responsibilities Online    245 Freedom of Speech    246 Defamation    249 Privacy    251 Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act    253 Drafting Robust and Legal Social Media Policies    254 Endnotes    257 10  30-Day Plan for Better Conflict Management Online    267 Putting Knowledge into Action    267 Day 1: Start Your Conflict Inventory and Assessment    268 Day 2: Identify Your Greatest Online Conflict Concerns    271 Day 3: Measure Your Existing Digital Footprint    272 Day 4: Start Identifying Your Online Conflict Management Goals    273 Day 5: Identify Your Internal Champions    274 Day 6: Get Buy-in from Leadership    275 Day 7: Get Human Resources’s Buy-In    275 Day 8: Identify the Stakeholders and Key Personnel You’ll Need    275 Day 9: Identify the Financial Resources You Need    276 Day 10: Claim Your Online Identity    277 Day 11: Choose an Online Monitoring Tool    278 Day 12: Set Up an Online Conflict Tracking System    278 Day 13: Set Up Your Social Media Sites    279 Day 14: Create Your Company’s Social Media Policy or Review Your Existing One    279 Day 15: Hire Someone to Manage Your Social Media Properties    280 Day 16: Hire an Attorney    280 Day 17: Determine Whether You Need to Bury or Remove Negative Information    280 Day 18: Start Developing Your Company’s Online Conflict Management Training    282 Day 19: Establish Criteria for Measuring Success of Conflict Management Training Program    284 Day 20: Create a Social Media Conflict Response Flow Chart    284 Day 21: Start Offering In-Depth Conflict Management Training to Your Social Media Professionals, Public Relations Professionals, and Online Community Managers    285 Day 22: Start Drafting Your Crisis Management Plan    286 Day 23: Identify Your Online Crisis Management Team    287 Day 24: Decide Who Your Public Face Will Be in an Online Crisis    288 Day 25: Train Your Public Relations Team and Social Media Team in Crisis Management Skills    288 Day 26: Develop Your Company Website’s “Dark Site”    288 Day 27: Start Developing Your Anger Management Training Course    289 Day 28: Start Developing Your Digital Literacy Training Course    289 Day 29: Simulate an Online Conflict Crisis    290 Day 30: Conduct the Online Crisis Simulation’s Post Mortem    290 Endnotes    290 Index    291