The main thesis of this book is that words have power. They have power to nourish – to add substantially to the way people feel about themselves. They also have power to hurt – to diminish another’s feelings about self. The words we use to each other can bring us closer together or drive us further apart. The materials in the book provide readers with opportunities to examine and reflect on the relationship between human interactions and the development of positive human relationships, specifically how conversations work to enable positive relationships or diminish them. These include being able to “tune in” to what the other person is saying, freeing oneself from the need to judge, being respectful, and having a clear and non-defensive idea of what is coming out of one’s mouth. The materials in the book also provide a self-instructional program to develop one’s skills in using human interactions that build more positive relationships.

Table of Contents:
Preface Acknowledgements Introduction What’s the good of it? (It’s not about the cheese) How the book is organized Part One:The Essential Components of Effective Human Interactions Chapter 1: Listening: “tuning in” Key conditions in active listening Developing active listening skills Chapter 2: Responding The overarching condition of respect Selecting appropriate responses Paraphrasing End notes One final word Chapter 3: The art of the question Questions that should be avoided More productive questions Turning questions into statements of inquiry The well-orchestrated discussion Conclusion Chapter 4: Once more with feeling Conclusion Chapter 5: Caveats: When the divide is too great Part Two Chapter 6: Introduction to the skill development materials Chapter 7: Introduction to facilitative interactions: Task 1 Studying the conversations Thinking about conversations #1 Thinking about conversation #2 Thinking about conversation #3 Thinking about conversation #4 Reflecting on interpersonal facilitative responding Conclusion Figure 1: Analyzing Responses in Human Discourse Chapter 8: Practice in choosing appropriate responses Practice task Self-evaluation of your responses Conclusion Chapter 9: Practice in attending and responding with respect (encore) Task Self-evaluation of your responses Conclusion Chapter 10: Creating your own scenario Self-evaluation of your conversation Conclusion Chapter 11: One-on one practice in attending and responding with respect (A) Pre-conditions Task Conclusion Chapter 12: One-on-one practice in attending and responding with respect (B) Points to remember in interpersonal discussions Pre-conditions Task Conclusion Chapter 13: Practice in attending and responding (Encore) Conclusion Chapter 14: Using effective interpersonal skills in real situations Chapter 15: Last Words Just one more thing Bibliography