I was a victim of domestic violence. The first time I was physically abused was one month after my wedding day. Like many women, I chose to remain in a relationship that was both mentally and physically abusive. I struggled between the reality of my torment, the memory of how my husband had been, and the dream for how he could change. I did not confide the abuse to anyone, including family, because of my own shame.
I am a survivor of several life-threatening events, and yet I could not leave. Why? Perhaps because of my children. Maybe because I was trying to honor my wedding vows. Could be because I loved my husband. Most likely it was because I was afraid of my husband because he often threatened to follow me wherever I'd go.
My husband became seriously ill a few months before our fifth anniversary. It was I who nursed him through his painful and untimely death. Our children were two and eleven months old. I have since remarried.
The painful memories buried deep within me were relived in haunting dreams decades after my husband's death. My restless soul seemed caged in time, locked in a battle of fear and regret, seeking freedom from my torment and pain. God gave me a vision of my future and of his will for my life. And with crystal clarity, he showed me by holding onto the burdens of my past, I could not serve him wholeheartedly. I read once that feelings buried alive never die, and love without complete forgiveness is not God's love. It took decades for me to truly understand what that meant. By opening my heart to his love, I was able to fully forgive my husband, finally letting go of my painful past, and resting in God's love. The inspiration for Daybreak was formulated in my dreams about the same time I was led to find the name of a local safe community in an undisclosed area near my home. I contacted the administrator and was able to visit the facility and donate business clothing for women interviewing for employment and household goods for those seeking to rebuild their lives in a new home.
Daybreak was written as a tribute to the thousands of individuals nationwide who endure the pain and cruelty of domestic violence and those who provide aid to them professionally, financially, or voluntarily. For the victims who lost their battles, may you be embraced always in God's eternal love. For the survivors who have taken the first steps to freedom, may you be blessed with divine protection and guidance. And for those who dream of a better life but lack the courage to take that first step, may God's love fill you with hope and encouragement. Even in the darkest moments, never lose faith in who you are--a child of the Living God! He is there with you, to shield, honor, and bless you with his divine protection. Trust and believe that you are not alone. God will guide you to the light, and there you will find joy and rest also in his perfect peace.
"The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed
me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the
brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison
to them that are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the
day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them
that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning,
the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees
of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. And they
shall build the old wastes, they shall raise up the former desolations, and they
shall repair the waste cities, the desolations of many generations." Isaiah 61:1-4
