The central questions of this book are: How do the best managers behave? What sets them apart from their peers? What impact do they have on their subordinates and co-workers? The theme and organizing idea of the book is the good enough manager ® or GEM. The concept is based on the psychological theory of the good enough mother who provides an environment where an infant learns to develop an autonomous and genuine self. She does this by responding with empathy and adapting her behavior, completely meeting the child’s needs in the beginning and then gradually letting go, allowing more autonomy and room for the child to add something uniquely his own to the relationship. This book is based on a primary principle: Just as there is no such thing as a perfect parent, managing people in organizations is an inherently human and fallible endeavor, mainly because managing occurs by and through human relationships. Through the words of over 1000 study respondents, GEMs are shown to be mentors and teachers, relationship builders, and models of integrity for their workers. Each of these themes is explored, making connections to the "right brain" thinking of artists and other creative professionals, managing with emotional intelligence, and historical ideas about management and leadership as adaptive human processes.

Table of Contents:
Chapter Outline Chapter 1: What is a GEM? The introductory chapter provides the rationale and development of the "good enough" concept and how it applies to managers (as summarized in the above synopsis). The chapter culminates in the working definition of a GEM. Chapter 2: Discovering GEMs: A Study of the Best and Worst Managers The study is detailed including the approach, data collection, and results. Based on an analysis of over 1,000 responses to a computer-based survey, the study concludes that the "best" managers: Serve as mentors, teachers and supporters of their employees, allowing sufficient autonomy and room to grow and develop; Build and maintain effective relationships by listening carefully and empathically, communicating clearly, providing helpful feedback, and remaining open to new ideas; Manage with high levels of integrity, characterized by respect, honesty, fairness and trust. By contrast, the "worst" managers are seen as over-controlling, micro-managers who lack appropriate interpersonal skills, take credit for things they didn’t do, and blame others for things they did. The discussion also includes a brief examination of how the variable of gender affects the results. The above noted conclusions form the basis for the subsequent chapters with the narratives providing depth to these findings. Chapter 3: GEMs as Mentors and Teachers This chapter builds on the idea of the good enough manager as a teacher and mentor who, as reflected by the theory, allows sufficient autonomy within well-established boundaries and facilitates creativity and growth in employees. This is explored in contrast to its opposite, the micro-manager who over-controls and stifles his or her employees, rendering them defensive and resentful. These ideas are amply illustrated with descriptions and stories from the study. Although many of the GEMs are very warm and caring in relation to their employees and co-workers, their approach is not only about being sensitive and nice. In their role as teachers, GEMs hold people accountable, maintain high standards and respect boundaries. Chapter 4: GEMs as Relationship Builders The GEMs are seen as building and maintaining very effective, and at times powerful, relationships with their employees. The vivid stories and descriptions focus on the themes of trust, mutual respect, and open, clear and responsive communication (including the special importance of listening and managing emotions). Once again the "best" managers or GEMs are contrasted with the opposite (managers lacking the interpersonal competence to productively engage in fruitful and mutually beneficial relationships). Chapter 5: GEMs as Models of Integrity Given the recent ethical lapses of corporate leaders during the last decade and during the recent financial crisis, this chapter emphasizes the importance of managing with integrity. The data clearly demonstrate that the best managers (in keeping with the "good enough" idea) understand their humanity and fallibility and, as Warren Bennis once suggested, try their best to do the right thing as opposed to just "doing things right." The chapter illustrates managers who are more comfortable with vulnerability, and experience it as strength rather than as a weakness, particularly when managing tough decisions such as layoffs or confronting subordinates. The emphasis is on values, fairness and authenticity (or humanity) in managing others. Once again stories and vignettes are used to illustrate the critical role that ethics and integrity have in practice. Chapter 6: Becoming a GEM This final chapter seeks to answer the question: How can I become a GEM? What skills and attitudes are required and how do I develop them? The premise is that although GEMs may be highly valued and precious, the stories illustrate that they are very human and we can learn from their example. The chapter provides guidelines for action, based on the preceding chapters and the central aspects of "good enough managing." The discussion is organized according to four "Cs" associated with this approach: Capacity (emotional intelligence, especially aspects such as self awareness, empathy, impulse control and the willingness to let go). Competence (specific interpersonal skills of listening, assertive communication, and conflict management). Character (developing a sense of one’s values and infusing them into the role of the manager in order to do the right thing when necessary). Commitment (willingness to do the best one can, every day)