How to be a Complete and Utter Failure turns the concept of self-improvement on its head. It brings together 43 and a half leading ideas in personal and business development, and offers a total antedote to the motivational, gung-ho, over-enthused tone of all the usual self-improvement guides.  Delivered in fast, easily digestible chunks, in a style that makes you laugh while you learn, this book offers tongue-in-cheek advice about what not to do to ensure certain failure in every aspect of your life. From not having any goals, to not getting advice from people you've never met or who are dead, to not taking personal responsibility for your life and results, every idea, strategy, suggestion and story is guaranteed to propel you into the slow lane of total inadequacy and has been tested with thousands of real people. How to be a Complete and Utter Failure comes with a warning - that you don't think about taking the direct opposite steps to those outlined in the guide, as this could seriously damage your chances of becoming a failure. Behind the humour, though, is good advice and a serious message. And whether you choose to heed the warning or not, it's an extremely entertaining read.  

Table of Contents:
Preface to the second edition How to get the most from this guide Introduction   Step one                Don’t decide what you want. If you do decide what you want, don’t think about why you want it. And if you do decide why you want it, commit to believing you can’t have it. Step two                Don’t do things on purpose Step three              Don’t stop working for a living Step four                Don’t know what you value in life (and if you do, lose sight of it) Step five                Don’t spend any of your time in the future Step six                  Don’t have any goals Step seven             If you do have goals, don’t put them in writing, and if you do, don’t think too big Step eight              Don’t plan your priorities Step nine               Don’t involve other people Step ten                 Don’t have a mentor or be a mentor Step eleven            Don’t get advice from people you’ve never met or who are dead Step twelve           Don’t take action right now Step thirteen          Don’t get feedback on your actions Step fourteen         Don’t adjust Step fifteen            Don’t get even more feedback, don’t be flexible…(you get the idea) Step sixteen           Don’t practise continuous improvement Step seventeen       Don’t wear a parachute Step eighteen         Don’t change your beliefs Step nineteen         Don’t stop having a deep fear of failure and of making a fool of yourself Step twenty           Don’t take personal responsibility for your life and results Step twenty-one     Don’t stop believing in luck Step twenty-two     Don’t expand your comfort zone Step twenty-three  Don’t use inside-out thinking Step twenty-four    Don’t put things in before you try to take things out Step twenty-five    Don’t control your moods Step twenty-six      Don’t transform your language Step twenty-seven  Don’t think about the first four minutes Step twenty-eight   Don’t talk and think about what you want Step twenty-nine    Don’t go to the movies Step thirty             Don’t stop being an unthinking dog Step thirty-one       Don’t ask ‘How do you do that?’ Don’t act ‘as if’. And don’t be naïve. Step thirty-two