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I Killed Osama

I Killed Osama

          
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About the Book

In all my years of reporting on the human condition, this has to be the most bizarre, and (if true) history shattering interviews I've ever conducted. This story is told by Billy "Big Rig," a pseudonymous truck driver I met over sausage gravy and biscuits in the late 1990s when I was driving a truck to make ends meet. We struck up a friendship, although I think I maybe spoke 10 words to him the whole time I knew him. He did most of the talking. And the way he spun a yarn caused me to be transfixed. Over time, he would add new details to his story, but it always held together at the center. After I retired, I would occasionally receive a microcassette dictated by Billy with a new part of the story. Finally, I asked him to sit down and put his whole story together so we could share it with the world. Here it is. Like it or not, believe it or not.
About the Author: Lonely and old, hobbled by years with Parkinson's disease, Schmalfeldt looks back with bitterness on his past achievements and wonders if any of it was worth the effort. When not engaged in writing one of his epic, but seldom-read polemics, he stares out his window, shaking his bony fist at the children who happen to run past his house. Angry about the past injustices life has thrown in his way, Schmalfeldt wakes up each morning and the first emotion he experiences is regret for having woken up. His loving wife tries to understand, but how can anyone understand the mind of a madman? If I were you and wanted to know more about this sad, lost soul, I would purchase every book, product, audiobook or CD he has ever produced. The only way to know insanity is to confront it. And your morbid curiosity will be matched with donations to the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Disease Research. Schmalfeldt runs an Internet TV channel that nobody watches and two internet radio stations that nobody listens to, all of which can be found at http: //schmalfeldt.org. He is days away from announcing the availability of an audiobook that nobody will buy: "Put On Your Parky Face," the story of the time he wasted by volunteering for experimental brain surgery to see if Deep Brain Stimulation conducted in the earlier stages of Parkinson's disease would be beneficial at some future date - say, 2084 - in the treatment of Parkinson's disease. It will be available on Audible.com, iTunes and Amazon, if anyone cares. At least you can screen cap the image and mock it on your website. That would be fun. As Schmalfeldt lays awake at night, waiting for the cold but welcome touch of the Reaper, he can at least take pride in the one contribution to humanity for which he can take credit in his otherwise meaningless, empty, angry, bitter existence, that being the recipe for a truly wonderful tuna casserole


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Product Details
  • ISBN-13: 9781502385970
  • Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
  • Publisher Imprint: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
  • Height: 229 mm
  • No of Pages: 248
  • Series Title: English
  • Weight: 335 gr
  • ISBN-10: 150238597X
  • Publisher Date: 15 Sep 2014
  • Binding: Paperback
  • Language: English
  • Returnable: N
  • Spine Width: 13 mm
  • Width: 152 mm


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